Tuesday, July 14, 2009


Preface: This is really long. More like a journal entry. For my sake. You can read it, of course. But, again, it's long.

Youngest to Oldest:
You had me at Mommy
That pretty much sums up Emmy. While it is totally flattering, it is also exhausting to be wanted so much. Dang. But she is just too darn cute to refuse. Seriously. Ben was going to give me some much-wanted and much-needed "alone time" at Target but as I was heading out and Ben and the kids were all on the porch reading a book, Emmy kept saying, "Want Mommy." She came with me. I need to dress her real ugly or something.

She talks a lot right now. My favorite word she says, don't ask me why, is "monkey." It's adorable and she says it at the right times. Love it. She has to, has to, has to do everything her brothers do. When we go to t-ball practices or games, there is Emmy doing the stretches with the rest of the kids (touching her toes, etc.) and even running the bases. When the game starts she gets real mad that she can't play, too. But she does get to sit every once in a while with Big Bro Miles on the bench. Miles and Emmy love that.

Emmy has what appears to be a great potential for being a great gymnast. Even in nursery last Sunday one of the dads in our ward saw Emmy doing some crazy stuff (like climbing in a play house and then going out the window - head first. several times.) and said, "She'll be a great gymnast." With some of her birthday money we'll get her into a gymnastics class for a bit.

She still loves her "sleepies." But calls them "Boos." I don't know why, ask her. She likes her yellow one best. She no longer wears them, just carries them everywhere. She also no longer sucks on them, just uses the cuffs to tickle her legs, arms, etc. She loves to be softly tickled and it is part of her bed-time routine.

She had a great "mine, "no mine," "no mine" verbal fight this week with the baby in front of us at church. It was amusing, but also not. She's got some serious sharing issues. All you need to do is look her way and she'll declare ownership.

Oh, and she has a great scowl face.

She's nuts and we're nuts for her.

Sink or Swim?
Jonas decided to sink. It was probably one of my most scary mom-moments and I doubt I will ever forget the image of Jonas under water. Even now I want to puke just thinking about it. The boys had swim lessons last week M-Th from 12-12:30. Ben took the boys on Monday. I went on Tuesday and came home telling Ben I was just sick watching them as I was just nervous and didn't feel like they were being watched closely in the water. (but i figured that was just me being paranoid) They do most of their lessons in the therapy pool - a 10x10 pool. In the middle of the pool there is a red line - indicating a foot and a half drop, 2 feet to 3 .5 feet. Kids are told not to go past there as they could not touch the bottom. The kids understand it, but as the teacher would be working with a child I felt the other kids were just playing around in the pool pretty much unattended and something could happen. (There is another "helper" in the pool with the class, but I don't know what she "helped" with?) Something did happen, but not my child first. The youngest kid in the class on Wednesday fell off the red line and luckily his mom was watching him and shouted at the teacher to get him out. I was chatting with his mom and told her she was brave (as she didn't run over to him as I told her I would) and her boy was brave. I was sick after that. Did not help my nerves.

Anyways, (long story, sorry) on Thursday the teacher had the kids standing on a shallow part in the pool and then they'd jump to her. She then would place the child on some bar in the pool and let them hold on while she helped the next kid jump. Well. . . I guess she thought Jonas had gotten a hold of the bar, but he hadn't. And she had gone to help the next kid. So I'm talking loudly (no, really, I don't think I was screaming. I should have been.), "Get Jonas! Get Jonas!" as I'm running towards him as he is head-under flailing/splashing in the water. (My kids don't know how to swim at all - hence the lessons.) The teacher finally realizes what is going on and grabs him out as soon as I get there. He barfs up a lot of water as well as his pink lunch. Beautiful. I don't know how I held in the gazillion tears, but I did. Perhaps pride? The tears held off until I got to the car, though.

So that was the last class for them. Not that I don't want them to learn to swim, or to get back in the water, because believe me I do. But not in that class because, to me, I feel it is very unsafe. 2 kids go under? That is 2 too many.

Anyways, more about Jonas. He still remains our funny kid. He makes us all laugh. He's a goof and a good goof. We don't have much problem with Jonas - except for whining. He whines a lot. But usually he saves it all for home, and for mom. Sometimes his whines are loud, loud wailing screams. I hate them. But not him, of course.

He got the hang of riding with no training-wheels. Kind of. Miles didn't get it at all - we'll try again next year. Jonas was real nervous about falling, though, and so he mainly liked to ride on the grass. He'd start on the sidewalk and then veer off to the grass and ride all around it. He was actually very, very good riding on the grass, which is pretty hard. We started to get him to stay on the sidewalk and he did improve, but to stop he would still curve on to the grass. He went fast, too. Real fast, that's how he liked it. We'd tell him to slow down, but he just wouldn't. Funny kid. But, alas, we put his training wheels back on because we don't think he's quite ready mentally. There's no way I could take him riding to Main Street on sidewalks, stopping and going, etc. But next year? Wow, he'll be cruising all around town I have no doubt.

Jonas' interests vary a lot from Miles. They have a lot of similarities, too, of course: the sandbox, trucks, and the basement swing. They both love books, too, and can sit for a good 30-45-minutes while I read them books. But Jonas likes things like motorcycles and skateboards. Yep, he's going to be a "skater." A nice one, of course. When we went up to Ouray they have this tiny skateboard place and Jonas' attention was just grabbed up by the boys and their skateboards. Jonas really, really wanted to go and ask the boys if they would let him use their boards. It was really sweet.

Both my boys do not have an ounce of hustle in them. It's quite comical, really. So Miles is still doing t-ball and Jonas had a 3-day intro-to-t-ball thing. And neither one of them ever, ever hustled. All the kids hustle around the bases, but my kids just leisurely run. La-de-da. I don't care. T-ball is not their passion and not something they care about shining in. But believe me,both my boys will shine in something good. I have no doubt.

Slap Him Silly
Miles, Miles, Miles. I don't know what all to say about him. I don't want this to be negative, but I think that is where it will head. He has given me so much trouble and grief lately. As well as church teachers. I'm scared for what will happen when Kindergarten starts next month.

But he's a good kid. Seriously. Not just because I'm Mom. He is. He's smart, inquisitive, tender hearted (yes, he really is), and although his actions are far, far, far from it - he doesn't like "naughtiness." I know that may not make sense to anybody else but me because I am His Mom. But, really, I understand it completely. Not that I understand him, though. Oh I wish I did. I wish I could help him figure out why he's been acting up so much lately.

Sure, I could totally blame it on no more naps. Because honestly and truly that is when his downfall started - about 2-3 months ago. He's never been a perfect child, but he's never beenthis crazy. I think it's a phase. I hope it's a phase. I hope, hope, hope and pray it is a phase.

What does he do? I can't describe it all. But on Sunday I got him delivered to my nursery door screaming and kicking our 7-month pregnant Primary Sec. (again, sorry M.) I had to take him outside as he was causing such a ruckus. Then I finally had to bring him back in and deliver him, still screaming and kicking (but, no, I'm not pregnant), to his dad so I could return to my nursery kids. Then I found out today that he spat in his teacher's face a while ago. That made me cry (when I got off the phone, of course. Dang that pride.) and I went down and calmly, though crying, talked to Miles. I told him that I know he is sweet and smart and good-hearted, but dang, he needs to show it to other people too. Let other people see the good in him, not the yuck. Yadda, yadda. He hugged me. I don't know if anything will change.

Though he seems to lack self-control, he is so far from that. I don't know many kids that will get a bag of candy and not eat it right away - and trust me, food is very loved by Miles, especially the not-too-often treats. Sometimes he'll "save" the candy. Sometimes he'll say something like (if he got the candy in the car), "I won't eat this until we get back home," or "I won't eat this until we get to the store," etc. And he won't. I just need to harness this self-control of his for good. And I feel like I'm failing in that regards, as well as many others for him.

But love him I do. And I'm lucky to be his mom. I get to see him do all the good, sweet things he does. Like blowing kisses to his daddy as he rounds 3rd base. Like getting Emmy her boos when she's crying. Like looking at the freshly checked-out library books at home for a good hour. Like reading his beginning-to-read books. Like playing with Jonas for 2 hours straight (right now) without a cry or fight. Like loving to read the Book of Mormon Reader every night. Like the crafts he's always making. Like his imagination that creates amazing play-times. Like his love of birds. Like telling me, unscripted and unprompted, that he loves me. I'm lucky indeed.

Up and Down
That pretty much describes me. I have some really, really good days and then some really, really bad days. Yesterday I had a really bad day in the morning and then it got better in the afternoon. So I guess I can even have really good and bad days all in one day. Wow, how exhausting is that!

I'm still "working" at the hospital but have literally been called off the past 3 months. The patient census is really low (meaning the number of patients on the floor) and so that requires less staff. The full-time staff has also had many hours cut. It's crazy. But there is a job opening here in town that offers an 8-hour shift. I want it. Real bad. Only I don't know if they need/want a once-a-week only nurse. I haven't heard back from them so I'm guessing they don't. But I'll call tomorrow and try to convince them they do. Comprende?

Summer is nice for exercising because I get to do a little "cross-training." So instead of running 6 days a week, I get to run 4 days and on the other 2 days I road-bike for 30 minutes and then come home and jump-rope for 10. I love it. It feels good to get another type of physical exercise. I'm slow on the bike, but that's okay. And today on the jump-rope, I only tripped up once. You might not be freaking out, but I was. Usually I trip up about 1-2 dozen times. And I don't pee my pants like I thought I would.

Nursery is okay. Don't hate it, but don't love it. It's my turn to be in there and so I'll gladly do it.

All I want right now (okay, I'll be truthful - it's not all I want, but is what I want most) are happy and good kids. I need to work much harder on achieving this, but I'm not sure exactly how? That's why this is so hard. I know how to train for a marathon, or plan family dinners for 2 weeks. But how to raise and discipline my kids? I really don't know. I need Help and I hope I get it. Like soon.

I just bought Ben a shirt with the Superman logo on it. I love it and think he looks brilliant in it. He's unsure of it, but will wear it out of love for me. Ben is still greatly enjoying being back at the surgical center. It's a good place to be. The days are long, but so are the weekends.

He's training for a "century ride" in August. A 100 mile bike ride (110 miles to be exact). It's called the ULCER and stands for something like: "Utah Lake something Epic Ride." The "c" used to stand for century, but doesn't anymore and I can't remember what it does stand for. So he's doing long bike rides on Mondays, sprint/short rides on Thursdays, and 1 1/2 - 2 hour rides on Saturday. He's loving it and loving how he feels stronger and more fit. He also goes "barefoot running" on Wednesdays with a few other friends. He likes that, too, but barefoot running hasn't helped (nor made worse, mind you) his knee-pain that always occurs about 20 minutes into his running.

He's still the elders' quorum president. But I think he should be released to serve with me in the nursery. Seriously, how fun would that be? I guess if it's to be it will be. It's probably not to be, though, dang it.

He put up a light above our sink last nite (the electrical stuff was already there and so we didn't have to pay any money to do it) and fixed our downstair's bathroom's door knobs so that they actually latch and shut (you'll thank him for that, erin and chuck!).

He's so handy and handsome.


erinmalia said...

already i'm thanking ben!

i love these posts because i feel like i get to know your little ones a bit better. can't wait to see them in person!

Jenson Family said...

Scary about the near-drowning incident. My baby fell in twice this summer, only for 2 seconds and I was right there, but that stuff happens so quickly. Hang in there with those boys! Sounds crazy, but you are an amazing Mom and will get through this phase. Great attitude about serving in the nursery... So true. Everybody has a turn.

courtney said...

i love this post. i read the whole thing. i'll tell you why later, because my baby is crying. again. :)

Montrose Lewises said...

well... I'm so sorry, em. You and Ben are parents I admire and I adore your kids!
I am always grateful for our nursery workers b/c so many other parents are able to attend and serve during those two hours. (I was so glad to see Brian grab his scriptures for Church again when Adaiah finally got in!) I myself loathe working in Nursery so I extra appreciate you and the others there. I, too, do it when it's my turn, but I cried when I moved here and was asked to do so :D.
There is an 8 month nursery limit in our ward... If you want to continue you can but if not then not. There's that to look forward to! ;)

raedene said...

It's a phase!!! I know it! :)
Sometimes my kids go through stuff like that and I just cringe. And it turns out to be a passing thing. (Thank goodness) Just keep trying and it will all work out. Doesn't President Hinckley have a quote to that effect? Anyhoo... You are a FANTABULOUS mom and it WILL work out. :) You pretty much rock, Emily. Do you know that? I admire you. Keep on keepin' on.

i {heart} hawkes said...

i think serving in nursery pretty much makes qualifies your for sainthood! at least that is how i feel about zig's teachers, way to go...seriously. and i'm glad to hear you also have bad days. i only say that because i think the majority of mom's with young families don't like to admit this even though it happens to all of us. they make the good days that much better :)

Anonymous said...

I just love your posts!! They're so real! It makes me happy to know I'm not the only one that loves being a mom but feels like it's really hard work. Your kids sound like good, real kids. Having those kid moments that mortality is designed for them to learn. I love that moms know the best their kids can be and their weaknesses too. I think that helps us to help them. You really are SO amazing and I miss talking to you.