(Remember the night you decided to bake donuts at like 1am. You were pretty excited to tell me about it the next morning. :) )
It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. That's a pretty great sum of your last year of life. You had some pretty great times - but it definitely seems overshadowed by those worst moments. Your last year of middle school was rough, oh so rough, in the whole social and friend aspects. You had many, many nights where you just would cry in your room. It's devastating - especially for your mother. I ache everyday for the hard things you have to go through. It can be an ugly world. You haven't always made the kindest of choices, but we've been able to talk about it and hopefully learn from it. You are learning a ton on what to do and not do in friendships/relationships. You are learning a lot about how to treat others. You are learning about forgiveness. You are learning about sometimes having to stand alone while making the better choices. You don't like any of this, though, and I don't blame you. You're a 15-year old who just wants some besties in your life. Friends that love you and support you and encourage you. And you deserve them. You just might have to wait longer than you want . . . longer than I want. But, as I've told you, goodness and kindness will win - in the important matters and in the end. But it's so hard for you to hang on to that when you need some positive wins right now. I get it.You've probably hung out with me more than you've wanted to. I have been sort of a default person to be with. But I haven't minded. I've enjoyed watching all the Julia Roberts and Reese Witherspoon movies with you! I've enjoyed running with you - well, kind of. The fact that I can beat you on the hill run doesn't make you a happy runner, i.e., not someone fun to run with sometimes. But we've had some good running memories! I loved that morning we went running together (slightly overcast and drizzly) and then checked out the new candle/cafe shop in town. I remember how kind you were in thinking of your friends (who had been so awfully rude to you the night before - and I saw it all firsthand on your phone) and you bought them some cool candles.
I've loved watching you perform so beautifully in your gymnastics' meets. Your floor routine is so great and you totally rock the running man. You ran cross-county way back in the summer/fall for middle school and now you're back at it at high school. Oh yeah, you started high school! Aiyiyi. Cross country has been good. You really like it, even though it is hard. You are one tough girl! You first day of high school was long: high school all day, cross country right after, and then gymnastics after that. With a tough conditioning. Your coach KJ and teammate Audi called you a bada$$ for how amazing and strong you are. Although I don't, ahem, support such language (haha), I was grateful for their support of you as you needed it that day.
You are liking high school so far. Ups and downs. But I think more ups than downs? You haven't quite found a group to sit with a lunch and so that's been a bit challenging. You do eat with Jerica (a nice girl, but not necessarily a good girl. But I like her and get why you do, too) - but she's a sophomore and so sometimes she likes to leave the school (and freshmen are not allowed to. Although your awesome Spanish teacher let you go once and it was like your favorite day of high school thus far, haha).
You still have a lot to work on - but the cool thing is, I do see you working on it. I gave you difficult tasks to do to/for certain friends (ahem, ex-friends) this past year. Things I probably would not have done as a 14-year old. But you did them - although you would tell me at first, "No way." But then you would come back later to me and tell me you did it. I am impressed by you and know you have what it takes to be good. And that's what matters. Not how popular you are, or how pretty you are, or how awesome your cowboy boots are, or how fast you run. It's your goodness and your goodness to others that counts. Always and forever. Learn that, Emmy girl, and you will be just fine. I promise.
I love you.
love,
me
